The S-Files: Definition of being Single

Let me give a shout out to those people who are single. It's not as bad as some of you may think it to be.

First of all, can I just point out that people in a relationship are probably more miserable than those who aren't in one. But then again, that may not be true in all cases. But the point is this--happiness does not solely lie on being single or not. If it's not my first point, it's probably my only point.

But define what is being single. Why do people say "I'm 30 and still single", "I'm single and ready to mingle." or "I'm single and ready to jingle!"? This singularity thing.. does it all boil down to being in a relationship? In layman's terms, maybe so. Maybe that is the ultimate definition of being single. Not being in a relationship. Not having a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a significant other. Hmmm..all right, I can go with that.

What bothers me most, however, is the fact that people attribute being single to being miserable. "Single" and "miserable", in all my encounters with dictionaries and thesauruses, have never been synonyms to one another. And there will never come a time that they will be.

To all my single ladies out there, be a woman and recognize your independence. We do not need a man to be happy. The only reason that there are people who whine about being single and miserable is because we have succumbed to appealing to the common opinion that single women are probably lonely and miserable. I beg to differ.

I realized this a week ago when i was convinced that I have been single far too long and therefore, must be the explanation for my "down moments". But a little later on, after spending a lot of time with my thoughts, I have come to terms with what's really wrong with me and it has nothing at all to do with being single.

However, I also recognize the fact that we are only human and that more often than not, most of us yearn for companionship. The point of this post is not to argue or contest with that fact. The only point here is to celebrate being single while you still are single. The beautiful and ugly truth is that this is the time that we have to recognize that there is still so much more to know about ourselves before we can be completely honest and open to someone else. We, then, have to recognize that we are an individual and that we can be independent, that we ARE independent. And that we do not need to find someone to complete us, because we have to recognize that we are already WHOLE.

In the instances that we have failed to recognize these things, as is the case with many, the relationships we get into often end up in crumbs. We end up becoming too needy, or too aloof. We end up becoming dissatisfied, discovering that what we thought was our fairytale...is nothing really but just another story. We end up feeling cheated, because we find out that the gold mine we thought we found is nothing but just another empty hole we fall into. We are happy for a number of moments...and maybe that's good. It's better to be happy for awhile than to be sad for the rest of our lives. But is this all we ever get? A few shots of happiness but never the whole bottle?

I want to believe that that is not the case. I think we deserve to get more than a few shots of happiness and that the biggest thing that prevents us from getting this is ourselves. So, I want to end this post with this reminder that--Before we are able to commit to anyone else, we have to learn how to commit to ourselves.


Also, another important thing to take always remember is that although you are single, you are not alone. :) So let's call this The S-Files. LOL ♥ ♥